
The Wanderer
Clouds taunted during the day. A few trees with dusty leaves survived. My horse hung her head as she plodded behind, too spent to wander away.
We crossed a channel once feeding the swollen sea. Boats littered the ground near a dock. One, secured by chain, hung vertically. I rummaged for plastic water bottles amid the craft, but they’d been scavenged.
My bitch, when she stopped scratching fleas, nosed lazily for scraps. I’d found her as a puppy and named her Luck. Figured she was my best chance at ever having any. Should have named her Hope.
Friday Fictioneers: 100-word story
Earthbound, the 300-word version I wrote for a daily flash contest requiring the words flea, horse, and boat.
March 1, 2017 at 8:17 am
I see mesas, and unforgiving heat. Beautifully evoked
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March 1, 2017 at 8:18 am
Thank you, Neil. I feel a bit parched. 🙂
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March 1, 2017 at 10:04 am
I loved the bones of this short glimpse into a different world. Hope to read more.
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March 1, 2017 at 10:06 am
Thank you, Michael. I’m actually working on a 300 word version for a contest. I had to use the words, flea, horse, and boat. 🙂
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March 1, 2017 at 10:16 am
Well described. I hope they reach safety!
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March 1, 2017 at 10:17 am
Thank you for reading, Clare, and for taking a moment to comment. I appreciate it.
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March 1, 2017 at 1:47 pm
You’re excellent with the sensory details. Enjoyed this a lot.
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March 1, 2017 at 2:10 pm
You’re very kind to say so. Thank you.
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March 1, 2017 at 2:52 pm
That is a well told story, really liked it.
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March 1, 2017 at 3:01 pm
That’s kind of you. Thank you.
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March 1, 2017 at 4:22 pm
Your use of language tells us so much about the narrator and his circumstances. Maybe his Luck will birth Hope too.
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March 1, 2017 at 4:54 pm
Thank you, Magaly. I appreciate you reading.
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March 1, 2017 at 5:06 pm
I knew a guy once with a dog named Lucky. It was a three-legged mutt, blind in one eye, and with a bad case of mange. As far as I know, he didn’t have fleas, so I guess he was Lucky after all.
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March 1, 2017 at 6:12 pm
Hehe. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
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March 1, 2017 at 7:20 pm
Hope does leave the door open for luck to follow. Hopefully the protagonist can find a bit of hope in their heart until their luck changes.
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March 1, 2017 at 7:42 pm
Hi Rommy. Thank you for reading.
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March 1, 2017 at 8:31 pm
Oh man… I am so thirsty now… I hope the heavens open up soon and poor rain down… made me think of my most favourite Star Trek The Next Generation episode “The Inner Light” where the planet is slowly dying…
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March 1, 2017 at 8:33 pm
I remember that episode well. In my novel right now, I’m writing scenes on a desert planet, and I’ve been thinking of that lately. Perhaps it bled over into my flash fiction this week. 🙂 Thanks for reading, Dale!
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March 1, 2017 at 8:34 pm
It was considered one of the top 5 of the whole series…
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March 1, 2017 at 8:35 pm
It was bittersweet. So nice to find a fellow fan.
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March 1, 2017 at 8:35 pm
Yessiree!!
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March 1, 2017 at 8:36 pm
(My father looked like Captain Picard – used to get stopped all the time!)
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March 1, 2017 at 11:10 pm
Sounds like luck has run out… so maybe hope is what’s needed
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March 2, 2017 at 6:07 am
So true. Thank you.
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March 2, 2017 at 7:34 am
Dear Kecia,
Atmospheric and vivid. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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March 2, 2017 at 7:51 am
Thank you.
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March 2, 2017 at 3:20 pm
I echo Rochelle’s comments. I got some very vivid imagery from this tale.
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March 2, 2017 at 3:56 pm
Thank you.
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March 3, 2017 at 10:07 am
I love the dystopian feel to your flash. And that last line is fabulous. Luck’s unnecessary, it’s hope they need. Fabulous👏
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March 3, 2017 at 10:36 am
Thank you! It’s great to get feedback validating my intention. Seems there’s too often a gap between what I think I write and what readers think I’ve written. I know readers bring their own backgrounds and imagination to a piece, but it’s still nice to know I’m not completely disconnected as the author. 🙂
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March 3, 2017 at 12:52 pm
Wow! What a scene you’ve produced. My mind is picturing it. Would be a great opening to a longer story, methinks.
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March 3, 2017 at 1:41 pm
That’s really nice of you to say. Thank you so much. I wrote a slightly longer version, 300 words. There’s a link at the bottom. But that’s probably as far as this character will go. I already have TOO MANY projects. 🙂 Thanks again.
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March 3, 2017 at 3:50 pm
This is a great, vivid scene, I can almost feel the dust between my teeth. They do need hope desperately.
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March 3, 2017 at 5:10 pm
Thank you so much. Kind of you to comment.
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March 4, 2017 at 4:30 am
The heat and desolation really comes across in this piece. I liked the boat hanging by a chain as it shows in one line the devastation and how the water’s completely disappeared.
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March 4, 2017 at 5:47 am
Thank you. 🙂
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March 4, 2017 at 5:33 am
What vivid imagery. Beautiful exposition of writing skills.
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March 4, 2017 at 5:48 am
Thank you for commenting. That’s very gratifying to hear.
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March 5, 2017 at 5:32 pm
Boats littered the ground – Great line! This alone tells a story. But the rest of your tale is wonderful, too.
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May 10, 2017 at 5:31 pm
I’m in love with this! Thank you for sharing this with us!
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May 10, 2017 at 6:18 pm
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it. I’ve also posted a 300-word version, Earthbound. There’s a link at the bottom. 🙂
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