Rival Mavens
Floreen knelt beside her lover to kiss his lifeless lips. Through hot tears on frozen cheeks, she chanted while drawing runes on the floor, and a portal opened to her rival’s sanctuary.
Before Nadezdha could cast a ward, Floreen stabbed her with the sigil-etched dagger drawn from Mauritio’s body, a blade too small and poorly placed to have killed him.
Floreen ignored the woman, who screamed and writhed as Mauritio must have suffered from Nadezdha’s spell. On a shelf, her lover’s spirit glowed silver in a soul jar. “I’ll take this, and yours… Yours can go to hell.”
Friday Fictioneers: 100-word stories
photo prompt: Janet Webb
Meta-story: After advice from a much-appreciated reviewer, I’ve taken another stab at this prompt. I LOVE this picture and want to write a whole new world, but have too many ideas and too little time before I die! I really have to focus on one (or four) things at a time.
If you have the time, maybe you could read both and tell me in the comments below which one worked better for you and, perhaps, why. Thanks for reading!
Muninn's Memories 
July 13, 2017 at 3:07 pm
I think I like this version better. It draws you in to her emotions from the first line, and she doesn’t bother hiding herself when she busts in on Nadezdha. More vengeful.
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July 13, 2017 at 5:15 pm
Yes! I was going for a bit more emotion without sacrificing the action. Thank you!
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July 14, 2017 at 9:46 am
Loved both versions. For me, the first version had better flow and I visualized it better.
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July 14, 2017 at 1:27 pm
❤ Thank you.
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October 22, 2017 at 6:57 pm
Just stopped in to say a quick hi. I hope you’re doing well! I sent you a message through your contact page a week or two ago. Hope you received it. Have a wonderful day, Kecia!
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