Cold Wind Blows
Over time, Annalise’s garden filled with abandoned cars, bicycle frames, rusty signs, and naked bedsprings, and her summerhouse surrendered to snakes and ivy. Dwindling, she remained.
The door whined as the little girl pushed in.
“Chloe!” a man shouted.
The girl flinched. Her head whipped around and eyes filled with tears.
“Run away,” Annalise whispered.
Chloe shivered as if she’d heard and lisped, “He finds me.”
“Chloe!”
“I have to go!”
Chloe whirled and ran. The man appeared amid the debris, grasped Chloe’s arm, and jerked the girl along at his pace.
Annalise sighed, cold as a cold wind blows.
Friday Fictioneers: 100-word stories
photo prompt: Sarah Potter
My other “Chloe” flash fictions: “Hush” and “Burning Angel.”
June 7, 2017 at 9:11 am
Some kids have all the luck. This sounds like part of a much bigger story. The characters are all in place.
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June 7, 2017 at 10:14 am
Not a full-fledged story, not yet, but your comment makes me wonder if I should link to my other “Chloe” flash fiction pieces…
Thank you for reading.
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June 7, 2017 at 10:41 am
You should. I’d have read it if I’d noticed a link.
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June 7, 2017 at 9:11 am
I don’t like Annalise… then again, I guess she just can’t have others with her.
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June 7, 2017 at 10:15 am
🙂 Thanks for stopping by, Dale.
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June 7, 2017 at 5:12 pm
Great story w feelings. Sad.
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June 7, 2017 at 5:59 pm
Thank you.
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June 7, 2017 at 5:50 pm
Such a sad story that dripped with despair. Very well written.
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June 7, 2017 at 5:59 pm
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.
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June 8, 2017 at 11:17 am
I liked this, I wondered if Annalise is a ghost? Shoot me down if I’m being stupid. 🙂
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June 8, 2017 at 11:25 am
That was my intention! My first post was a little weak on the concept, so I made a couple of changes, which I hoped made it more obvious. I’m glad someone caught that because it’s essential to the story.
Thank you!
And welcome to the blog. 🙂
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June 8, 2017 at 11:40 am
Great! I thought so but when I read the other comments no-one else had mentioned it so I thought I must be off track! 🙂
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June 8, 2017 at 2:39 pm
I’m really glad you mentioned it because I didn’t know whether I had fixed the problem indicated by those early comments. Apparently, I did. Thanks so much!
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June 8, 2017 at 3:14 pm
De nada! 😀
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June 8, 2017 at 4:43 pm
I sensed Annalise was a ghost as well. Well written!
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June 8, 2017 at 4:44 pm
That’s awesome. Thank you!
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June 8, 2017 at 6:00 pm
Oh dear, why didn’t she listen to Annalise?!! Such a frightening tale with so many outcomes…my mind is whirling right now.
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June 8, 2017 at 6:07 pm
I’m glad it engaged you. Thank you, and welcome to the blog. 😀
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June 9, 2017 at 7:59 am
Annalise did try to help, but who takes notice of a ghost?
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June 9, 2017 at 8:27 am
I think she did what she could. 🙂 Thank you for comenting, Liz.
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June 9, 2017 at 8:31 am
Because of the work I do as a therapist, my mind immediately went to Chloe being in the hands of a pedophile. Chilling.
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June 9, 2017 at 8:40 am
Then you wouldn’t be wrong. The other two “Chloe” stories I linked, especially Hush, imply that. When I first imagined these two characters, I hadn’t intended to supply a paranormal element, but the ghost in the summerhouse, Annalise, seemed a perfect candidate to befriend Chloe, who desperately needs a friend.
I’m really pleased you picked up on that in only 100 words. Maybe I’m doing something right in my writing!
Thank you for commenting.
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June 9, 2017 at 10:23 am
I’m sure I’m extra-sensitive to such a probability. Sad.
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June 9, 2017 at 8:45 am
I too thought pedophile. Great write.
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June 9, 2017 at 8:47 am
Thank you!
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June 11, 2017 at 5:30 am
I’ve read a couple comments. I guessed Annalise was a ghost. The man appears as unkind to the child as she wants to hide from him. Good writing. —- Suzanne
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June 11, 2017 at 6:53 am
Thank you for the feedback.
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