What Monster?
The market was a beehive of activity. Colored flags waved from tents. Bells and drums competed with the shouting vendors, creaking carts, bleating sheep, and crowing roosters.
Adelina’s father drew a copper from his leather purse and crouched. “Can you find the sweets by yourself?”
Adelina beamed and forgot the port-wine stain on her cheek. “I can!”
“Come right back when you’re done.” Her father pointed toward a stall with farming tools. “I’ll be over there.”
Adelina grasped the coin and weaved through the crowd. At the candy wagon, she exchanged her penny for a sweet on a stick and licked the sugary treat.
A boy about twelve bumped her, jarring the candy from her hand into the dirt.
Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked up at several boys who’d gathered. Adelina backed away and turned to run.
The boys laughed and herded her from the market into the woods with sticks and jeers. “Witch!” “Monster!”
Adelina’s cheeks burned and heart hammered as she plunged through the leaves. The market sounds dimmed but so did the boys’ taunts. As silence descended and light faded, she lost her way amid the trees. Weary, Adelina huddled under a viburnum bush. Her father would be very worried.
Adelina wiped her tears, peeked from the brush, and gasped.
Slow, yellow eyes blinked at her. “Are you lost?” The creature’s long fangs protruded from fat, slack lips.
Adelina nodded. “Are you a troll?”
The creature chuckled. “I am. Aren’t you afraid of me?”
“No. Are you afraid of me?” She touched the port-wine stain on her face.
The troll’s hairy forehead wrinkled. “You’re not a monster.”
Adelina curled her lip in a pout. “Neither are you.”
The troll laughed again and offered his hand. “Come. I’ll show you the way back.”
Meta-story: Because I have a couple of this type now, I made a new category for the blog, children’s fantasy flash fiction. I’ll post another soon. The contest prompt by Arakun at writing.com for this one was to use the words beehive, lost, and monster in a story less than 300 words with 24 hours to write. This piece won first prize that day.
Muninn's Memories 
June 1, 2017 at 1:25 pm
Great job for participating in Writing.com and entering the contest. And, congratulations for winning! I started a writing.com profile, but I’m not sure it’s for me. I’ve given some feedback, but I really prefer to give positive feedback. Point out the things that worked well, and a few areas that could be improved. But for me, there has to be this level of trust to offer criticism and to receive it. And there is a lot of work on there that is so rough. If I could sit down with the person who wrote it and ask questions and get an idea of what they were trying to convey, I could offer support and helpful advice. But some of it, I can’t even understand their story to give helpful feedback.
I’m not shy about offering criticism to people I know such as my local writing group, but I feel like they know by now that I enjoy their writing and I’m trying to help them make their story better. Plus I’m right there whenever they need encouragement.
Anyway, you did a wonderful job with this prompt, and it was fun to go back and look for those words. I’m in awe of you tackling writing.com because I haven’t figured out how to make it work for me. And it may just be a matter of not being the right fit. Anyway, did I mention that’s so awesome you won!!
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June 1, 2017 at 1:38 pm
I agree that most of the writing is very rough at writing.com. I also have a real problem with the look and format of the website. It seems as if it was built in the 90s! I also struggle with a strange sense of isolation. Where do the members hang out? I guess I haven’t found it yet.
On the other hand, the feeling that I’m alone there frees me of any responsibility to a community. I put things in my portfolio or enter contests without any emotional investment.
In short, it’s weird.
But, for some reason, I feel more comfortable there than I did at critique.com or scribophile, maybe because I don’t feel a burden to write or receive reviews. I can enter contests without spending points. And I like the contests because they give me an objective, which is what I need sometimes to get writing when I’m stuck. Finishing a short story feels like an accomplishment and, lord knows, I need that sometimes when a novel feels like it will never be done.
Thanks for your support, Mandie.
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June 1, 2017 at 2:38 pm
Those are some excellent observations, Kecia, and right on point with what I’ve noticed. I don’t know where the community is either. And the weird thing about the isolation, as an introvert, I would think I would enjoy that, but I don’t.
I haven’t used any other online writing communities, so I can’t compare it. Perhaps they are all outside my comfort zone. I just haven’t yet determined whether that means I’m missing out on something I really need to pursue, or if it’s not even helpful to my long term plans for my writing.
I appreciate you taking the time to talk about your experience. That’s more community than I’ve experienced within the website. It gives me a better idea of maybe how to navigate writing.com if I decide to stay. I kind of have this guideline I try to follow where I don’t want to get sidetracked by something that sucks a lot of time, but isn’t helping me achieve or get to where I want to go with my writing.
I guess I’m still trying to explore and figure out what feels right for shaping my career as an author. I’m trying not to rush it or push it toward something that doesn’t feel right, but I don’t want to be limited by fear either.
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June 1, 2017 at 10:22 pm
Honestly, if a writing website doesn’t work for you, I always advise people to leave it behind. That’s how I felt about Wattpad. Basically, I feel like most writing websites won’t help a writer in the long run, but then again, it depends on the writer’s goals.
Writing.com has a huge community! You can find people in the newsfeed and on the forums. Actually, I feel like if a writer’s focus is on their writing, then most writing websites are just a distraction. I’m sure you’ll figure out what works best for you =)
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June 2, 2017 at 8:51 am
Thanks, Aka. That’s kind of what it feels like — a distraction. I appreciate the advice.
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June 1, 2017 at 10:18 pm
I agree with you that Writing.com does have an old layout and the writing is rough, but honestly, I’ve noticed that there is rough writing on most writing sites. However, I do agree about the contest and feeling comfortable there. For me, I like the website for the contest, the people, and not feeling the pressure to be number 1. Oh, and congrats on winning the contest!!
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June 2, 2017 at 5:52 am
Yes, the writing is not worse on writing.com than on scrib or critique. But I also come across well-written pieces sometimes, and I’m not really there to read. When I do a review, it always ends up being a reminder of the things I should be doing in my own writing. When I see the obvious mistakes in someone else’s work, it helps me notice them in my own work.
And I do like the structure of the contests. There are so many things I could be writing about that I don’t always know where to start. The prompts and guidelines get me started.
Oh, another thing I like about writing.com is the chance to add pictures. I also like the portfolio. It has more options and flexibility than the other sites I was at. It’s a bit like having a real home page. So even if no one ever looks at it, I like tweaking my portfolio. 😀
Thank you for commenting!
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June 4, 2017 at 9:41 am
Love your story
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June 4, 2017 at 9:44 am
Thank you. 😀
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