The Walk Home
Hidden behind clouds, the sun had set, and gloom shrouded the city. Vicky’s heels tapped agitato on the wet sidewalk, and her hair sparkled with drizzle. She glanced over her shoulder.
The reek of wet dog saturated the air. Ahead, the dark mouth of an alley she passed daily now gaped with menace. Adrenaline surged through her veins until her pulse pounded her ears, and her heart beat her sternum, and her lungs labored for breath from the sodden night.
She raced to shoot the gap.
No!
A growl broke her stride.
Vicky’s lips twisted in silent scream. The beast!
Friday Fictioneers: 100-word stories
photo prompt: Sandra Crook
May 3, 2017 at 4:37 pm
Great atmosphere
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May 3, 2017 at 4:41 pm
Thank you. I was exercising in the old Weird Tales magazine style. I’m glad you found something to like.
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May 3, 2017 at 6:47 pm
The fear was palpable. Loved it.
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May 3, 2017 at 7:31 pm
Thank you.
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May 3, 2017 at 7:05 pm
Fast-paced and vivid. Great!
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May 3, 2017 at 7:31 pm
Thank you. 🙂
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May 3, 2017 at 8:12 pm
This reminded me of the fact that humans are the only mammals that frequently ignore their instincts. I’m just saying, I would have walked down the middle of the street instead of walking near that alley opening.
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May 3, 2017 at 8:31 pm
Oh, that reminds me of the line I scrubbed. I wrote something like “Could the fear all be in her mind if she smelled wet dog?” I took it out because I thought it introduced an element of doubt about the danger. I wanted the beast to be real, not something she was imagining. Your comments are insightful as always. Thank you, Mandie.
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May 4, 2017 at 4:13 am
So atmospheric.
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May 4, 2017 at 6:26 am
Thank you. 🙂
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May 4, 2017 at 8:12 am
Oh my gosh… darn it… i shouldn’t have read this just before bedtime!
😨
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May 4, 2017 at 8:42 am
Ha! Thank you. 🙂
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May 4, 2017 at 2:23 pm
Now I will jump a mile if I smell wet dog at dusk.😉
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May 4, 2017 at 2:33 pm
Ha! Thanks for reading, Michael. 🙂
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May 4, 2017 at 3:37 pm
very atmospheric!
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May 4, 2017 at 3:39 pm
Thank you.
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May 5, 2017 at 2:19 pm
Creepy. Well written, I can feel the tension.
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May 5, 2017 at 4:33 pm
Thank you.
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May 5, 2017 at 2:55 pm
Ouch.. this reminds of why I used to hate the dark. Baskerville’s dog
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May 5, 2017 at 4:34 pm
Oh, Hound of the Baskerville’s…that’s a good one. It didn’t occur to me. That one scared me, too, a long time ago. I should have looked to see how Doyle wrote it. Thanks for your comment.
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May 6, 2017 at 2:38 am
Great build up of fear. I want to know why she had passed the alley daily without problem, but now suddenly it is such a sinister scene. What changed and why? So many questions!
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May 6, 2017 at 7:07 am
Thank you for reading, Clare.
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May 6, 2017 at 6:55 am
You set the scene well, Kecia. I could smell the fear.
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May 6, 2017 at 7:08 am
Thanks, Russell. I’m a-practicin’. 🙂
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May 8, 2017 at 10:10 pm
You’ve got my heart palpitating in synch with hers! Great scene description!
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May 9, 2017 at 6:21 am
Thanks, Dale!
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