Age-old Art
She stomped into Jared’s heart in Italian leather shoes. On the twenty-sixth floor, they drank from fluted glasses. The bubbles percolated in his brain. That’s all that did.
Her gardenia scent filtered into Jared’s dreams like morning light sifted through the sheers into their suite. Nested in mounds of luxurious sheets, he rolled to recapture the night. His hand touched cool silk. His eyes flew wide. The pillow preserved the shape of her head. The sun gilded a long strand of hair the color of last night’s champagne.
Sitting up, he called, “Darling…”
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Friday Fictioneers: 100-word stories
photo prompt: Magaly Guerrero
Muninn's Memories 
April 19, 2017 at 10:53 am
she’s gone, of course
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April 19, 2017 at 10:54 am
🙂
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April 19, 2017 at 12:29 pm
She stomped into Jared’s heart in Italian leather shoes What a great line!
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April 19, 2017 at 12:35 pm
Thank you, Alicia. 🙂
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April 19, 2017 at 12:55 pm
The descriptions of the bed were so evocative. Beautifully done.
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April 19, 2017 at 1:27 pm
Thank you, Sandra.
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April 19, 2017 at 3:52 pm
Okay, so yes I’m struck by the fact that she is gone. No use calling for her. But I’m also struck by the fact, and I feel fairly confident in this, that he calls her “darling” because he doesn’t know her name.
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April 19, 2017 at 4:03 pm
Mandie, I love that interpretation. He might very well have neglected to discover her name. Perhaps he was so intoxicated on woman and wine that it slipped his mind or seemed secondary at the time.
I made the choice to give him a name and left her unnamed on purpose, but for a different reason. I was hoping to give the reader a closer connection to my POV character while distancing the woman. I wanted the sympathy with him. That was also why I chose the word “darling.” I thought it made him sound more vulnerable.
BUT…I also left unanswered questions because I wanted to guide readers to fill in the blanks with their own ideas. Which you did! So…I’m ecstatic.
I really enjoy your insightful comments. What a pleasure.
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April 20, 2017 at 5:34 am
described wonderfully
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April 20, 2017 at 6:08 am
Thank you.
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April 20, 2017 at 6:01 am
I love this piece, Kecia. She sounds like a “Classic.” 🙂
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April 20, 2017 at 6:09 am
Love is a strong word. Thanks, Russell. 🙂
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April 20, 2017 at 8:13 am
I enjoyed your story and also your comments above about naming your characters, etc.
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April 20, 2017 at 8:15 am
Thank you. With only 100 words to work with, I consider each one carefully. My son and DIL are a great help with names. I name so many characters each week that I get name-fatigue after a while. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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April 20, 2017 at 12:05 pm
Looks like she didn’t only stomp into his heart, but also on it. Interesting story…
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April 20, 2017 at 1:27 pm
Too true. Thanks for reading.
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April 21, 2017 at 3:28 am
She charmed her way in, took what she wanted and left – a powerful woman, if on you wouldn’t want to have as a friend! Great tale – and that first line is wonderful
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April 21, 2017 at 7:43 am
For all we know, she paid for the wine and room. (Dare I say, I kinda like her.) Thanks for your comment.
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April 22, 2017 at 3:47 am
My pleasure 🙂
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April 21, 2017 at 2:05 pm
Loved the title combined with the first line. Nicely done.
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April 21, 2017 at 2:37 pm
Thank you. 🙂
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April 21, 2017 at 3:21 pm
Vivid details that bring the reader in for the final jolt. I like the fact that she’s in control. Usually, it’s men.
Nicley written …
Isadora 😎
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April 21, 2017 at 5:35 pm
Hi. Thank you for your comments, Isadora.
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April 22, 2017 at 5:45 pm
Loved the opening line. Great story!
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April 22, 2017 at 6:36 pm
Thanks!
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April 23, 2017 at 12:38 pm
An awesome description and a brilliant first line.
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April 23, 2017 at 12:54 pm
Thank you. 🙂
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