photo prompt by Liz Young
Savant
From the storefront, Tavian watched his new technician sitting idle in the workshop. Her gaze skimmed broken toys, gaudy parts in states of disassembly and electronic disrepair. On the workbench, the EM-stylus rested untouched.
Her caseworker had warned him the girl required leeway, wasn’t quite right. He’d agreed on the trial but needed results or couldn’t keep her no matter how bright.
Perhaps feeling Tavian’s eyes, she looked up and nodded affirmation. But to what question? Curious, he went to investigate. Picking up a doll delivered with a broken voice processor, she switched the baby on, and it talked. “Mama.”
Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories
February 15, 2017 at 10:16 am
I wonder what she’ll do beyond the confines of this tale
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February 15, 2017 at 10:20 am
You caught me. Perhaps I was too obvious. This story is a vignette I imagined might happen based on the novel I’m working on, Rhapsody Streets.
Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment. Nice to know someone reads.
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February 15, 2017 at 10:23 am
I sensed the undertow of a larger narrative
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February 15, 2017 at 11:12 am
Does she really want this job, though, with him constantly waiting for her to make a wrong move?
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February 15, 2017 at 11:15 am
Good question although it might be her only choice. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, Elizabeth. I appreciate your time.
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February 15, 2017 at 11:18 am
Dear Kecia,
It’s neither here nor there but my first published short story was titled Savant. Two very different stories, though. Curious to know what happens next.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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February 15, 2017 at 11:22 am
It’s a great word. I use it sparingly in my novel. I fear squeezing the life from it.
I hope-someday-the whole story will be known. At the rate it’s shaping up, we’re talking years.
Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. Always appreciated.
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February 15, 2017 at 11:23 am
I understand the years part. From start to publication and tons of revisions, my first novel took over 10 years.
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February 15, 2017 at 1:16 pm
Oh this begs to know more… even knowing it is a snippet of a larger story!
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February 15, 2017 at 1:57 pm
I hope that’s good. Thanks for commenting.
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February 15, 2017 at 2:00 pm
Yes it is!
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February 16, 2017 at 8:05 am
Well, as others have said, she fixed that doll but what else is she doing that he’s not noticing?
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February 16, 2017 at 8:19 am
I guess I left questions this week. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.
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February 16, 2017 at 1:53 pm
Oooooo how interesting. I do want to learn more
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February 16, 2017 at 2:06 pm
Thank you, Laurie. Check in another year or two. 🙂
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February 16, 2017 at 2:24 pm
Wooooo
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February 17, 2017 at 5:43 pm
i think she passed the first test. 🙂
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February 17, 2017 at 6:15 pm
I think you’re right. Thank you for visiting.
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February 18, 2017 at 12:22 am
Nobody else has mentioned this in the comments but I saw the reflection of the girl in the doll..being broken and needing someone to spend a bit of time and effort to fix the broken wires to get her back on her feet.
recently, our family went on a holiday to Tasmania to show the kids where my husband was from. We went to his father’s home town and even though I never met the man, I did my best to walk in his shoes. His mother had died when he was 9. His mother’s family took his 3 year old sister to live with them and the two boys were left to fend for themselves while Dad worked away. It’s a hard story. Added to this, there’s talk of a half-sister. I’ve been working on getting in touch with her but needed to do as much research as I could beforehand. Found out her mother died when she was young in a car crash. So, I could hear her voice also crying out with that doll’s voice…”Mama!”
I evidently really enjoyed this and keep working on the novel.
xx Rowena
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February 18, 2017 at 7:22 am
Rowena, I almost didn’t add the “mama” to the end. In the book, the girl is an orphan but I haven’t allowed the girl to reflect on this or feel any angst as she grows up. There are some hints later on that a parent might be living—somewhere, but she has little to no reaction to it.
So, you did pick up on something I didn’t allow in the book, a momentary reflection of the girl’s silenced cry.
Thank you for leaving a considered reply and for reading.
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February 19, 2017 at 4:24 am
You’re welcome, Kecia. I’ve been thinking a lot about that talking doll since I read your story. It really resonated with me and I have been thinking about whether the mother has lost a child but has the doll or it’s the little girl who lost the mother but in both instances I can see the doll getting thrown against a wall. That mechanical voice could really haunt a character.
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February 19, 2017 at 4:46 am
As the stories this week showed, dolls (and their science fiction counterparts, androids) continue to haunt people. I wrote another doll story this week, the classic haunting type. It seems the horror of dolls taps something deep in human beings.
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February 21, 2017 at 4:55 am
I totally agree. My cousin collects mannequins. She’s an actress but that does intrigue me. I thought you might enjoy some photos I took of mannequins in Sydney’s Surry Hills: https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/window-shopping-crown-street-surry-hills-sydney/ and https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2015/08/21/kissing-booth-campbell-street-darlinghurst/
xx Rowena
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February 18, 2017 at 3:38 am
She sounds a talented girl if her efforts can be channelled for her own good and ultimately, society’s. Very intriguing story.
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February 18, 2017 at 7:29 am
I’ve been struggling with the relevance of my story, whether her adventures count as a book or not. I’m glad I posted this supplementary vignette because the comments are helping me recognize the potential of what I’ve already hammered out. It’s there, but I don’t quite possess the skill to present it so it comes across like I imagine in my mind. I’m working on it. 🙂
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.
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February 20, 2017 at 12:14 am
May be she suffered from ‘Savant syndrome’. I shall look forward to the novel.
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February 20, 2017 at 7:29 am
Thank you, yarnspinnerr.
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February 20, 2017 at 9:16 am
Well done, Kecia. I enjoyed the post. Like many of the other commenters, it left me thirsting for more.
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February 20, 2017 at 9:23 am
Thank you. I hope I can deliver some day.
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